In Poland a person with a great sense of humour is sometimes said to “laugh like a Lodowician”. The Silesian city shows its mirthful/mischievous side halfway through Turn 14 when a Studebaker truck barrelling along Copernicus Street decides to explode for no apparent reason. Are there German infiltrators on the east bank of the Vistula already? Did a butter-fingered Ivan drop a grenade? Unfortunately I can’t answer that question without compromising the thick foot-unit Fog-of-War currently blanketing the battlefield.

September 17 is ‘Ladislav Day’ in Lodowice. When there isn’t a war on, citizens gather on North Bridge to commemorate a Catholic priest drowned by Protestant rioters in 1621. After tossing little decorated crucifixes into the Vistula at precisely midday (Saint Ladislav was lashed to a crucifix before his fatal baptism/cruise) locals hurry down to South Bridge clutching long-handled nets to see whose crucifix has completed the journey first. Strictly speaking, Poohsticks was invented in Poland in the Seventeenth Century.