Ships At Sea (Sea legs and Protestant work ethic not included)

Early Access Ships at Sea came within a cod’s whisker of flunking its 3×3-style audition. Two hours in I was railing against its rigid earn-to-unlock structure and unexpected lack of ambience, and fast losing patience with its improbably choppy harbours and recalcitrant small craft. But then I set off for Vedøya.

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Where am I?

Using the following clues (the map above is purely decorative) in combination with Street View, work out my location.

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The Contacts Game

It has been this way since the cock-up in Cologne. On the day before a deployment, King Dormouse summons me to his office, and we play ‘the contacts game’ while he wipes the nicotine film from his gig-lamps or toys with the medieval caltrop he uses as a paperweight.

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Heavy cargo = heavy responsibility

I can’t look at Heavy Cargo – The Truck Simulator screenshots without thinking of one of the UK’s most idiotic rail accidents. In the released-yesterday-to-luke-warm-Steam-reviews, HCTTS, I presume the procedure on arriving at a level crossing isn’t “Wait for automatic barriers to open, then cross fingers and put pedal to metal”.

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Rhine maiden voyage

Street Cleaning Simulator, Garbage Truck Simulator, Utility Vehicle Simulator, Stone Quarry Simulator, Underground Mining Simulator… in 2011, German publisher Astragon was pumping out so-so sims like a Flakpanzer Gepard pumps out Shahed drone shredders. Confronted with this deluge of dross, I and, I suspect, many others failed to give one Astragon release the attention or praise it deserved.

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