A is for Alphabetised wargame, sim, and site news. Every so often, assuming I can persuade Austerity’s Blackburn Cirrus Bombardier engine to perform the miracle of internal combustion, I spend a few days scouring Simulatia and Grognardia for stories with the potential to fascinate, startle, cheer, dismay or amuse. Those stories are then dehydrated, alphabetised and delivered, via articles like this one, to people who’ve got better things to do than plough through puff and platitudes.

B is for Blimey, baize, and balls

Steam has just informed me that I’ve played 134 different games so far this year – 32 more than I played in 2022. Unexpectedly, when it comes to number of ‘sessions’, my most played game isn’t a wargame or a vehicle sim, it’s sublime wind-down diversion Virtual Pool 4. Apparently, I’ve clicked the purple 4-ball icon on my desktop 133 times since May!

C is for Clouds of confusion

Many of GHPC’s turf churners gained the ability to produce smokescreens with grenades and/or exhausts earlier this month. Because Radian care about realism, the billowing barriers don’t inconvenience units with thermal optics (IR sensor-defeating multispectral smoke grenades such as the M76 were still a year or two away in 1985), and Warsaw Pact AFVs fling their canisters in long-range clusters while US ones toss theirs in short-range arcs.

D is for December debacle

Not for the first time, a free update that should have put smiles on the faces of Flight Simulator users, has sown frowns instead. Many struggled to download Update 14 due to a server code bug (now fixed), and some report performance deterioration and new issues since installing the sim’s latest exe. A few months ago I couldn’t wait to finally join the FS2020 revolution. Now I’m dragging decidedly cold feet.

E is for Expect AI improvements

Not purchasable since NorbSoftDev and Matrix Games parted ways, the courier-sprinkled, chaos-stuffed Scourge of Wars are currently undergoing refurbishment in readiness for a Steam re-launch. Norb Timpko explains Scourge of War: Remastered thus: “It’s been many years since those initial releases and old men need something to do in their twilight years. So, we figured we’d take our time and fix some issues, rebrand the game, get on Steam, upgrade the art, and see what we can do to improve performance. There are improvements to the graphics engine and a large number of next generation art assets. The AI is smarter, meaner, and more likely to run you off the battlefield unless you are a skilled wargamer. This game now uses the Steam multi-Player features to allow you to match your skills against human opponents anywhere in the world the AI or both at once.”

F is for Freshened-up Flying Fortress sim imminent

Talking of spruced-up classics, Flying Fortress: The Mighty 8th Redux, the first of MicroProse’s air armada of upcoming B-17 titles, has a new Early Access ETA of January, 2024. DirectX 12 support and heavily reworked interiors are guaranteed, but as no screenshots showing improved terrain or aircraft models have been shared yet, it’s not clear whether, on Day One, scenery and snappers will be any prettier than they were in 2000.

G is for Gnomic nagging

Ignatius is pressing me to give Maneuver Warfare another try. He’s heard the interface has improved a fair bit since I wrote… “After doing its utmost to make a bad first impression with drab visuals and a UI as ergonomic as a rusty PIAT, MW partially makes amends with realism, generosity, and a likeable campaign system.” …in April 2022. And knowing my enthusiasm for all things Bulge he reckons the game’s latest add-on might be of interest. Mission Pack West 44-45 (£15) consists of five three-battle ops, one of which sims snowy Ardennes action.

H is for Hairpin heaven

The nostalgic Shakedown Rally demo contains sufficient hairpins to secure a Rapunzel-sized mane. Right now, owners of the 7€ full game get a second venue (Finland) and profound modability. Assuming nothke doesn’t get too distracted by the space station sim he’s building, one day buyers may be able to barrel through Swedish and Mexican stages.

I is for Imphal from an INA perspective

Here’s something you don’t see every day, a WW2 FPS in which you play an Indian National Army soldier fighting the Allies alongside Japanese ‘liberators’. Historical accuracy may not be Embers Off’s forte, judging by the anachronistic aerodynes in the trailer.

J is for Jeep jeopardy

As IL-2 doesn’t sim breakable straps and cargo momentum, landing the game’s latest collector plane with a one-ton 4×4 parked just behind your seat, probably won’t focus the mind and bead the brow quite as forcefully as it should. 1CGS’s Wacos don’t appear to be snatchable either, which is a pity.

K is for Koreograph Kamels

Cornerites Colonel_K and cederic weren’t overly impressed by the withdrawn-in-October Skies Above the Great War demo. Hopefully the crashes, flawed FMs, and other shortcomings they observed, won’t be still around on Jan 11, the day the first Early Access build is scheduled to hit Steam. Executed well SATGW’s squadron management layer (“Provide your airfields with machines and pilots and send them on missions that support your overall war strategy on a persistent 10.000 square kilometers wide gameworld fully simulated in real time”) should help distract from flaws and shallowness in other areas.

L is for Legendary Pilots

My high hopes for the “stylised and unique” Legendary Pilots nosedived when I noticed that BerkBox’s only other PC release was this poorly received showjumping title. However, graphical and thematic quirk are such rare things in the civilian flight game sector, I refuse to abandon all optimism.

M is for Maritime mediocrity?

Homaging the much-loved Ports of Call is harder than it looks. Deck13 tried it in 2014 and 2016 and weren’t entirely successful, and Hidden Tower’s 2023 attempt isn’t exactly going down a storm. SeaOrama’s launch bugs may be fixable. Time will tell whether anything can and will be done about the fundamental fun deficit some Steam customers are reporting.

N is for Naval assets in Nuclear Option

If Nuclear Option had pilot logbooks, mine would reveal that I rarely fly Chicanes. Now the game’s chiseled choppers can re-arm and rest at sea, I suspect I’ll whirlybird more often.

O is for Ottoman offering

The Battle of Vienna – the bloody high-water mark of the Ottomans’ westward push into Europe – provides the fascinating backdrop for the latest Wargame Design Studio demo. Even by WDS standards, Vienna 1683 is an extraordinarily generous freebie. Name another hex merchant that would give away a high-headcount 52-turn scrap (shorter scenarios are included too) and not call a halt to the action ten… twenty… turns into proceedings! In this paragraph plucked from a recent news post, scenario designer Gary McClellan explains what makes the Battle of Vienna so singular: “Timewise, Vienna sort of sits in the middle of the time frame covered in the Musket & Pike series, but it’s at an extremely interesting crossroads. The game features three very different armies. You’ve got the very contemporary Imperial army, fighting in the European style, the Ottoman army with their light cavalry, and finally the Polish army, the great heavy cavalry power of the day. Each of those armies fights very differently, and players will have to learn the ins and outs of each to be successful.”

P is for Planned playtests

The line-up for the first 3×3 of 2024 has already been finalised. RBM Studio’s Gettysburg will be sharing THC’s audition stage with Railroader and a poetical puzzle game. A digital adaptation of this Mark Herman design, the £4 Gettysburg features turn structuring that sounds slightly bonkers on paper…

“Turns are completed in an “I go, you go” style, wherein players alternate their turns with their opponent until one player passes. Once that happens, a random number of unopposed actions are given to their opponent. Pass too early and you risk giving your opponent the opportunity to maneuver completely around your forces.”

Q is for Quick tea card

Rushing Bear appears on card #2 of ‘American Indian Tribes’ a 1962 G.P. Tea set inspired by a much older set of trade cards. Although the text on the reverse identifies him as a Pawnee, he was actually an Arikara chief. The Arikara hailed from North Dakota and, before the equine revolution of the 1600s, relied heavily on mutts:

“Traditionally an Arikara family owned 30–40 dogs. The people used them for hunting and as sentries, but most importantly for transportation. Many of the Plains tribes had used the travois, a lightweight transportation device pulled by dogs. It consisted of two long poles attached by a harness at the dog’s shoulders, with the butt ends dragging behind the animal; midway, a ladder-like frame, or a hoop made of plaited thongs, was stretched between the poles; it held loads that might exceed 60 pounds. Women also used dogs to pull travois to haul firewood or infants. The travois were used to carry meat harvested during the seasonal hunts; a single dog could pull a quarter of a bison.” (Wikipedia)

R is for RIP Anton

(Embroidered Ukrainian map by Qypchak)

“I would be lying if I said I’m not afraid. It’s scary for everyone. I’m nervous. But I’m a man, and there’s a war going on. When we win, how can I possibly look our veterans in the eyes after our victory if I hide? Guilt and shame would eat me from the inside. It’s scary for everyone, no one knew how to fight when the war started, but we are learning to defend (our homeland), and fight the enemy.” (Anton Logvynenko)

S is for Swiss tank simming Seventies-style

The RAF used simulators not dissimilar to this Swiss relic to train Jaguar, Phantom, Buccaneer and Harrier pilots. Alarming encounters with colossal insects and toy figures weren’t unknown. This archived pprune.org thread contains some amusing anecdotes from the men that flew, operated, and maintained model-based sims.

T is for Truck sims don’t come more truthful

The last BeamNG.drive update was a corker. Build 0.31’s attractions include overhauled Gavril trucks, new trailer types, physical mirrors, and realistic fifth-wheel operation.

U is for Ultimate Fishing Simulator is £2.50 until Jan 4

Although Fishing Planet is fifty times more popular, no angling sim sold by Steam has a better review ratio than UFS. While its Early Access sequel hasn’t gone down too well, this no-nonsense 2018 stalwart – still regularly revitalised with DLC and patches – continues to captivate its small but faithful fanbase.

V is for Vivid violence

Far too grisly to feature on the sort of magazine demo discs I used to devour in the Nineties, the demo for Half Sword, “an immersive, physically simulated medieval combat game” lets you use anything that comes to hand to bludgeon, slash, stab, gouge, de-limb, and disembowel foes. Careless mouse swings and awkward falls can cause self-inflicted wounds, and particularly energetic attacks can lead to weapons becoming stubbornly lodged in flesh and bone. “Ban this sick filth!” say I. “Play it again! Play it again!” says horrid Ignatius.

W is for Wisecracks galore

After a sorry start in which you’re asked to down painfully predictable Bf 109s using the waist gun of a France-bound Flying Fortress, the American Commando demo fairly quickly finds form. By the time you’ve infiltrated the U-boat pen and explored and sunk your first sub, the “God, this is worse than WWII GI” thoughts should be long gone. Unfortunately, the main character’s Duke Nukem-esque witticisms aren’t nearly as amusing as they could have been.

X is for Xceedingly slow progress

If you’re after dramatic battle anecdotes, Return to Cassino, the WW2 memoir I’m reading at the moment, is sure to disappoint. On the other hand, if you’re after insights into how humans behave when exposed to war’s dangers, deprivations, and insanity for long periods, it’s a page-turner. Reading passages like this…

“The next day the rain stopped and the weather cleared, but I had trouble with one of my sergeants. It was his turn to man the OP, and when I told him to get ready to go up he refused. He was the one who had been so enraged, back in the village behind Mount Trocchio, when he heard that we were moving up again. I told him that he had to go because it was his turn. He pleaded with me, saying that he had been on too many OPs and just could not take any more. When his fellow sergeants heard this they were angry with him and said that they had been on lots of OPs too. He would have to do his share. Some of them called him vile names, and he in turn lashed out at them; but I tried to stop all this and told him that he would have to go. To my surprise, he broke down and started sobbing. Nevertheless he began to get ready to go, cursing, as he did so, the army and the war, and then those men in the platoon who had been his friends but who now had no use for him. He reminded them of some of the OPs he had been on, and of some of the battles where he had shown that he was as brave as they were; but he could not take any more, he said. I felt sorry for him, for I knew that he had been a good soldier; but I did not see how I could change my orders. He continued reviling the men and he came close to using nasty language on me too, but I stopped him and made him start up the trail. He went, still sobbing and shouting insults at some of the men as he climbed. When we last saw him he stood at the top of the trail above our hut, shaking his fist at all of us, tears running down his face, shouting “I won’t go to that OP! I won’t go!” and then he disappeared around the bend. He did not go, either, for Stuart, who had known him for a long time and understood the problem better than I did, allowed him to be evacuated as a battle casualty.”

…I found my mind turning to Burden of Command, a game that aims to confront leadership dilemmas such as this head on. More than six years after it first made headlines, BoC still has no firm release date. Project Lead, Luke Hughes, recently apologised for the game’s lengthy gestation while emphasising that work on the game hasn’t stalled. This November forum contribution from a playtester makes me think we’ll be lucky to see Green Tree’s groundbreaking leadership RPG before Q4 2024:

“The first offensive scenario using the new AI has been handed over to the play testers. This is a significant milestone as it means the only thing left before stitching the campaign together is play testing all the offensive scenarios. Once we stitch the scenarios together there will be a long phase of play balancing across the campaign, polishing, and adding remaining lite RPG elements. The effort to do this right should not be underestimated.”

Y is for Y in heaven’s name can’t I buy…

…a hexy Old West computer wargame? Some free advice to my favourite producers of hexiana – if you want your next TBT to sell like hot cakes not cold sick make sure it’s set in the Old West, sports friendly/transparent mechanics, one-man ‘units’, and decent AI. Market gaps don’t come much bigger.

Z is for Zouaves included

Norm Koger’s Age of Rifles, snuck onto Steam on Tuesday. Should you buy? In a word, ‘yes’. In a thousand words…